are you a lucy?

abuse is a most disgusting part of life. i think most of us have been abused in some way or another. when you have been abuse you have been conditioned to a certain extent. something in you changes. i think you could almost interchange the word abused for "conditioned". 

a dog learns when you raise your hand you are going to hit him, if in the past, you raised it to hit him. it takes a long time to re-condition that same dog to not expect to be hit when your hand goes up, even if it is for something good. i had a conversation with a friend via email recently about how she has possibly missed some good opportunities and growth at different churches because while she was there, what she had been conditioned to expect caused her to flee and look for something else.

we are not dogs, but we are easily conditioned. when a hand goes up, we have learned what to expect.

God is re-conditioning me.

think of charlie brown going to kick the football, and the football is always pulled at the last second and he falls flat on his back. but i want to flip it on you. it is easy to put myself in the place of charlie and say that in the past i have run up to the ball and had it pulled at the last second, and it would be true, but what happens is after being charlie enough times, we become lucy. we hold the football and see charlie coming up to kick it and we have learned and been conditioned by the abuse we have endured that we should pull the ball and allow charlie to fall to the ground in embarrassment and disappointment, because that is exactly what we have experienced.

are you charlie or lucy? stephen r. covey writes in his book "the 7 habits of highly effective people" about the emotional bank account and how with everything we do we either deposit trust into people or withdraw it from them making it less likely for them to trust us next time, and they do the same with us. everything people do in interacting with us either deposits or withdraws trust. are you charlie or lucy? do you deposit trust or withdraw? 

are your words ones that add to people or take away. i heard john maxwell talk at catalyst over a year ago about how our jobs as leaders is to add to those around us, not take away. take a moment and really examine yourself... do you add or subtract, deposit or withdraw?

in the last couple of years since being in Colorado Springs and here in Georgia at The Vine, i am learning how to let the ball be kicked. it is hard sometimes, because there will always be things and situations that remind me of my past and  everything in me wants to pull it up, keep the ball safe, let the other fall, and keep any semblance of control i can. but Jesus wants to re-condition us... redeem.

be charlie... don't pull the ball because it was pulled on you.... let it fly!